Tyrrell the Spaz

by Peter Tyrrell Monday, August 15, 2005 10:50 AM

Alright, just because who wants to read about scripting with Inmagic WebPublisher sort keys, I include a readable shorty.

When I was of grade school age, I had a small problem controlling my temper. It was extremely short, and I would explode as easily as a Mexican cliff diver wearing a nitroglycerine bathing cap. All my enemies at school knew this, and delighted themselves in baiting me until I blew my stack. Then they danced about and sang a little tune they made up, the lyrics of which I am happy to repeat, today, just for you. (Rock aficionados will note that my schoolyard foes based their chant on The Rolling Stones' Down in the Hole.)

Tyrrell the Spaaaaazzz, He's down in the Gutter, Beggin' for cigarettes....

I can't remember if there was more to it than that, because right at at that point a red mist would come down and I would attempt to kill them. I never did, much to my dismay, and it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I weighed in at 60 lbs. and was built like a wire coathanger.

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